Eat your meat.

Where there is no law there is no sin.

The law aka the administration of death.

That is what salvation is from dear brother.

Read this and see the deep truth.

The truth the elites have hidden from us.

The bible has a glorious message and it’s this.

What they have twisted it into is a superficial mess.

Their gospel is a toy a toddler would play with for 5 minutes and then toss away in disgust.

I go to church and I’m expecting to hear the real low down on life.

You know the big secret.

But all I get is a pitiful “be a good boy and be free advertising for us”

There’s no meat.

But I have given you a plateful of meat here brother.

Wean yourself off the milk of the law.

You’re a grown man. Not a baby.

You can’t worship in spirit and truth and follow the law.

The law works through fear.

You do or don’t do because of fear of punishment and desire for reward.

That is you are a fake. A make believe. A pretend person.

To live in the spirit and in truth you must leave behind the law.

And god made the law a bitter pill for the same reason mothers used to put wormwood on their nipples.

They make it horrible to force the baby to spit it out in disgust.

Stop drinking milk.

Stop propagating fear.

Stop propagating hate.

Stop working for satan.

I pray to our father that the scales may come off your eyes and you may walk in newness of life as the new creation.

The letter killeth but the spirit bringeth life.

Where the spirit of the Lord is there is freedom.

There is no fear in love.

Shed the law like the rotten carcass it is and be the beautiful work of art our heavenly father has made you.


Eat your meat. You’ve had your fill of milk.


How I live my life now.

The way I live my life now isn’t so much to be better at stuff.

Sometimes I try and be happier or more confident. I’ve even got tricks that work to achieve that effect.

Seriously, no word of a lie now, no matter how down in the dumps I get; no matter how stuttery, anxious and unable to look you in the eye I get all I have to do to get out of that muddle is start meditating.

I just sit down for 20 minutes twice a day if I can or even once a day and within days – seriously I kid you not – it just starts fixing itself.

No effort.

I still get anxious and stressed and what have you but I can still look you in the eye.

I think I’m a naturally excitable chap and part of my problem is that I’ve stigmatized that and so taught myself that I’m a naughty boy if I lose my equanimity.

In a sense I’ve tricked myself into thinking that the manifestation of energy is a bad thing.

And meditation gets me out of that bind.

The funny thing is once I get to a sufficient state of Buddha feeling I often relapse.

I think this is natural.

I mean if I constantly maintained the Buddha state I would do so out of fear of the relapsed state.

So I just bounce from one to the other.

And the thing is each bounce doesn’t just seem a mundane back and forth. I’m becoming more and more comfortable with myself when I don’t do what I know I should and do what I know I shouldn’t.

Now I can hear gasps of shock in my imagined audience. But the strange thing is that as I have become more comfortable with the mess I am I have been able to maintain a competence within that mess that I couldn’t when I fought it.

The mess doesn’t change. I still stutter, feel anxious and what not but on another level I’m not there trying to fight it.

I think this is the bodisattva (I probably haven’t spelt that right but those who care about such trivial nonsense ain’t getting it and those that don’t don’t need to get it. Haha do you enjoy my dance? I do) phenomena.

I think everyone gets those flashes or times of satori, enlightenment or whatever and in them they have the choice whether or not to come back and they always come back because the only reason they wouldn’t is fear and satori and fear are kind of mutually exclusive.

Most people get them on the edge of sleep and wakefulness.

I don’t know if meditation and mindfulness would work for you. I just know they do for me. I hope they work for you. But you might be on a different path.

Maybe there is no hope for you. I simply don’t know. I just know what works for me and I feel so lucky it does.

The purpose-less ground of purpose

There is a sense in which people think nature is stupid.

They think a huge mistake was made when nature spawned man and that man is now going to turn around and destroy nature.

“Obviously” they say “nature doesn’t want that!”

But nature doesn’t mind what happens. All this stuff springs up and passes away. For no reason.

Sometimes reasons spring up. They have their day and when they are fulfilled puff they go like everything else.

Sometimes they don’t even get fulfilled they just get forgotten. It doesn’t matter; the same event happens to the fulfilled as well as the unfulfilled purpose eventually.

But nature, the tao, god or whatever sign you want doesn’t mind what happens.

What we’ve done when we say nature is stupid is separated a small part of nature from the rest and then attributed to it humanity.

We have made an image of a bit of nature we call earth and said it cares about going on as it is and it’s stupid because it has brought about it’s own destruction by giving birth to man.

But there are other planets.

There is the universe.

Really it’s an expression of our own fear for survival.

We want nature to be on our side. So we attribute to it our own interests.

If God has a master plan
That only He understands
I hope it’s your eyes He’s seeing through

As depeche mode put it.

We call nature stupid because it isn’t fulfilling the purposes we want it to have; because it has no purposes.

It’s just stuff happening.

The illusion

Every now and then god gets bored of being blissful so he plays these far out games where he pretends he isn’t him but poor little us who get hurt and die.

He’s so good that he fools himself absolutely.

I mean you don’t feel like god do you.

Neither do I.

But just as I can show you an illusion. Like say one of those illusions where some lines look like they are different sizes but are really the same size.

You can even know it’s an illusion and how it works. But still your eyes are fooled by it.

Just in the same way it can be shown that if there is a god then you are god because of what we say god is but we can never the less feel like we are seperate from everything.

That we are not god who is supposed to be the ground of being. The fabric and structure of existence.

That we are poor little mes who are the victims of circumstance.

I mean whatever is putting on this whole show is such a good actor that he’s got himself on the edge of his seat! He’s even got himself committing suicide even though he knows it’s a show.

The biblical dialectic

The Torah pushes the lie that we are separate from god. It doesn’t do this by telling us to do bad things. It’s much more subtle than that.

By the very act of issuing a command god initiated the seperation. You don’t tell yourself what to do. Even if you do have a little voice saying “do so and so at such and such a time” you are projecting this from outside of yourself.

At least it appears that way. Are you that voice? Surely not because it comes and it goes and you remain. So even when you give a command to yourself you have to initiate a seperation. You need to create a distinction between the you who tells you what to do and the you who does (or often doesn’t) do what you are told.

Now then this distinction is death. It is dissolution. That is to say it is a fragmentation of a whole.

This occurs whether you are obedient or not. That is to say that obedience is irrelevant when it comes to this seperation.

So really Adam and eve died the day they were told not to eat. They just became aware of it when they and god went their seperate ways.

When their will became evidently seperated from the superficial will of god.

This is how Paul can say with one breath that “I delight in the law of god after the inward man” and with the next that “the commandment which was (apparently) ordained to life I found to be unto death”.

Now of course I’m missing out some steps. The mechanism by which the command creates the illusion of seperation or death is sin which as I have shown elsewhere (just type sin in my search bar) is failure.

So we come to feel seperate from god when we fail to do what god commands.

But that seperation was already there when god gave the command. See god pushed us away we didn’t flee from him. At least in the biblical narrative.

Now how would doing what god commands make any difference? It obviously wouldn’t. At least not to the seperation between us and god.

Really when you are under the law oneness with god is simply not on the table. You may feel he is pleased with you or displeased with you; which one is entirely dependent upon how hard on yourself you are.

But guilt or innocence do nothing to change it. In fact they both exacerbate the sense of seperation.

This is why Paul says in 1 corinthians “all things are lawful to me”. It’s really the same statement as “We are saved by Grace”. Our unity with god just is. You see it or you don’t. If you see it then no matter what you do it will still be there.

This seeing is something you either have or you don’t. It doesn’t matter how naughty or nice you are. I’m actually convinced that Charles Manson gets this… as did Ghandi.

God takes responsibility for evil. “Shall there be evil in a city and the Lord hath not done it”. “I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.

Don’t try and get him off the hook. Who made you God’s lawyer? Don’t you think he can do a better job himself?

What is salvation? Eternal life right? And what is eternal life? “this is life eternal, that they might know thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom thou hast sent“.

Jesus said of himself “The Son can do nothing of himself, but what he seeth the Father do: for what things soever he doeth, these also doeth the Son likewise.

What Jesus was doing was showing our actual (whether we know it or not, whether we like it not) relationship to god.

Look at yourself as you think, as you act and as you experience. Everything and I mean everything; your thoughts, decisions, feelings and everything you sense have this quality of coming from nowhere and going nowhere.

What do you think that nowhere is? All because you are not aware of a thing doesn’t mean it’s not there and this thing, this place from which everything you call you comes is the ultimate invisible.

It can’t be spoken.

It can’t be touched.

It can’t be conceived.

And it’s from there that we come and we go. Not just way back then when I metastasized from my mother but right now. Right this second we are proceeding out from this unmentionable and vanishing into it.

We are the image of it. As is everything else.

Who is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of every creature:

In revelations it says of Christ he was the “Lamb slain from the foundation of the world“. What this is saying is the exact same thing that the communion is saying.

Jesus took bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it and gave it to his disciples, saying, “Take and eat; this is my body.”

This act along with the crucifixion was pointing back to the creation.

God incarnated himself in physical form and then crucified himself. He split himself up into many parts.

This incarnation isn’t seperate from god just as the movements of a dancer aren’t seperate from the dancer.

Then hid from himself by acting out man and telling man (himself) what to do. Just as you do in your head all the time with all your pretend conversations.

Does this mean the death of Jesus 2000 years ago was just a symbol? In a way it does but it’s a symbol that points forward as well as backward.

It was the end of the hide part of the cosmic game of hide and seek god plays with himself and it’s defining feature was “all things are lawful for me”. It was the end of the command.

At least it was for the Hebrews.

What if you were God

Let us play a game.

A game of pretend.

Only at the end of the game if you win you’ll realize that it wasn’t a game.

That really what you thought wasn’t a game was a game.

So to begin I want you to close your eyes. Well I don’t because you won’t be able to read what I write if you do.

But anyway pretend to close your eyes.

Now I want you to imagine what it would be like to be God with a big G.

You can do whatever you want, you know everything and you are everywhere.

Question: what are you going to do?

Well come on. What would you do if you won the lottery so to speak?

Imagine the questions that would bug you in this state.

What is the point? What am I to do?

It’s all well and good being poor you know. These questions don’t really come up.

What is the point? To get rich of course; or at least make it so I don’t have to worry about food and shelter anymore.

What am I to do? Another easy one: try to get rich, build a hut or whatever.

It’s all very well being in a state of need. The need sorts those questions out for you.

But now I’m asking you what do you do when there is no need? After you’ve got that house and you’re rich and you have slaves to do everything for you. What do you do?

In a sense owning slaves is a lot like the power we ascribe to god. I speak “give me steak!” And voila my employee brings me steak.

God speaks “Let there be light” and voila there is light.

The only difference is that the universe in this way of thinking is God’s slave.

Well what would you do if you were God?

I’m not really looking for an answer to the question. It would be different for everybody anyway.

But that this question seems the most appropriate question one would ask oneself if one were God is interesting.

Why? Because it’s what we ask ourselves all the time.

That is to say that the most fundamental question man can ask “What am I to do?” Is the only question it makes any sense for God to ask also.

“Well I am. I want to be. Obviously I want to be otherwise I wouldn’t be. I’m god after all I can not be if I didn’t want to be. What on earth am I supposed to do?” Says god.

“Well here I am. I’m alive. Obviously I want to be alive because it’s easy to not be alive. I just chuck myself under a bus. But what the hell am I do with myself” says man.

Everyone reaches this state. Once you’ve put the time in at work to feed and clothe yourself you get home. You can do stuff but all the stuff you need to do has been done.

What are you to do?

This is in the bible!

“I also gave them statutes that were not good and ordinances in which they could not live. I was defiling them in their gifts when they made all opening up the womb pass through fire, that I might make them desolate, in order that they may know that I am Yahweh” Ezekiel 20: 25 – 26

Every now and then in the old testament you get a glimpse behind the veil. You see what is really happening.

The Law was sent to make sin increase to bring about judgment.

Here we have a good example of the function of judgment and the actual intention of God in all his doings with man. It is all “In order that they may know that I am Yahweh”. This reason for judgment is reiterated more times than I care to remember.

In a very real sense God is setting up a dialectic. His intention is to express Himself to us, to make himself known to us and He does this by setting up resistance to himself so that through this dialectic between God and the adversary we are shown God’s character.

A brilliant example of this is Pharaoh. “And in very deed for this cause have I raised thee up, for to shew in thee my power; and that my name may be declared throughout all the earth”

In the story of Moses’ dealings with Pharaoh we see that in order for Pharaoh to stand against God enough to fulfil God’s intention in raising him up God had to come in and harden Pharaoh’s heart. On his own Pharaoh could not have stood against God. So we see this declaration of God before Moses has even spoken to Pharaoh:

“But I will harden Pharaoh’s heart that I may multiply My signs and My wonders in the land of Egypt… And the Egyptians shall know that I am the LORD, when I stretch forth mine hand upon Egypt, and bring out the children of Israel from among them.” Exodus 7: 3 – 5

In the verse I began with we see God giving laws that were not good and ordinances the Hebrews could not live in so as to make them desolate! But the intention – the end goal – is so that they may know Yahweh and his mighty power and that He is for them!

Oh and that they would wise up and stop worshipping bits of wood by killing their kids. Stupid Hebrews.

Thoughts inspired from backlog 1

Thought I’d post from my backlog. This one is from before I was a believer. Though I don’t actually place as much significance on the salvation issue. That is to say on the issue of figuring out the prerequisites for salvation… I don’t think there are any.

I believe that that lovely man 2000 years ago expressed in his personality the way into the the holy of holies. He showed us that we are on a rollercoaster predestined and being transformed into divinity in the loving hands of the master craftsman Yahweh who knows us!

His death on the cross and His resurrection made abundantly clear that there is nothing we could do that would thwart His love.

He knows our weaknesses. He knows the mainsprings of our actions and decisions. (He is the mainspring of our actions and decisions!) He knows us the way only our maker could and his thoughts are higher than our thoughts.

I believe in this review of “Lolita” I may have expressed Father’s comprehension and attitude towards us. Especially in the paragraph where I talk about traits. Of course not His full comprehension and attitude but the bit which is the foundation for our faith.

It is knowledge of our own wretched impotent condition – not evil or good in itself but in the grip of entropy. A time-lapse putrefaction that in itself has no hope but the one hope that comes to all at the end… of a saviour, of more Life and Light that is the salvation that matters! Life not some petty rebate from eternal pain.

Not forgiveness from a God who had nothing against you and to whom you, you puny worm, could do nothing that would warrant even a shifting of the pupil in Yahweh’s eye let alone something deserving of forgiveness!

How can you believe in Him if He doesn’t first reveal himself?

I have talked previously how we have faith in our senses; in so far as we believe that they inform us of a “real” world. We have faith on the basis of past experience that the ground will be hard when we walk on it. And so on…

God doesn’t demand that we lay down our normal basis of evidence. For me personally there have been two occasions on which I have experienced the glory of God. Like fire pouring through me. The first time got me sectioned… I appealed and they let me out.

I’ve actually been intending to write about those experiences. They kind of bracket this blog – in that after being sectioned within months or so I just lost belief… well I say that – I just couldn’t fit the experience and insight that I’d had into the christian box. Not any box for that matter.

I tried meditation and mindfulness. Got good at it! Spend a whole week not thinking once – moved around like it wasn’t me, like I wasn’t there. But it wasn’t the experience I’d had before.

That experience was full of understanding and language. Not telling me to do anything but just like having my internal monologue taken hold of and spewing forth the effluvia of understanding (damn it effluvia is the wrong word… sounds nice though).

All of that resulted in this blog.

And then this time – well september time last year (so a 5 year bracket) I began to experience a fiery heat pouring through me out of nowhere. And then all this insight into what the good news meant. Now I’m not saying I’m infallible – – I’ve refrained from talking about this because I don’t think it is at all relevant when considering the strengths and weaknesses of what I say – the words stand or fall on their own!

Plus I’m stoned and should probably link the review before I descend into the realms of nonsense. Effluvia… I swear that meant the stuff like waves… what is it a theory about our consciousness, decisions and objects of conscious… like flotsam on the sea… epiphenomenalism… could use epiphenomena… accurate but still it’s not effluvia.

Chill brother God’s in charge.

It’s all about election.


God chooses who to reveal himself to and he hides himself from everyone else.


In this age God is calling out (ekklesia simply means the called out) a very small number to be the body of Christ in the next age where many more people will be called out.

In fact just as in this age God is reconciling the Ekklesia to himself in Christ in the ages to come God will be reconciling the world and everyone in it to himself through us (the ekklesia, the body of Christ). This is what is talked of in 2 Corinthians 5:19 and Ephesians 1:9 – 12 and 22 – 23 (though the whole of Ephesians is pretty awesome).


Being Called out doesn’t mean separating yourself from society. God will make you different to everyone else but he won’t take you out of society.


He will make you fearless by showing you who He really is. By showing you and giving you faith that God is responsible for everything. Including the evil.


See people that tell people they have to separate themselves from society are actually preaching works and not grace.


All you have to do is chill brother. If you believe good. If you don’t believe also good. God is in control and God loves you. You ain’t got shit to worry about.