My faith in christian language.

I’m in the intermediate state between fully trusting Christ.

In that I still think there is something I can say and some thing that they can follow that will save them.

But it is entirely the work of god.

That I am a mere spectator.

You know god is god.

God is god!

I’m not in charge.

I’ve tried and I still try to be in charge.

I still try to tell people what to do.

How to live their lives.

But faith is faith and sight is sight.

Faith is not sight.

I think I see what is the correct or best way to live life.

But that is not faith.

Faith is to know that god is in charge.

That things may not be going as I think they should but god is in charge.

That by me disagreeing with the way things are going.

And I do. I think they could be so much better.

But that is not faith.

The crux is the good news.

That god is in charge and that god is love.

That he has the best of intentions for us.

That everything that happens. Whether we think it good or evil is in the plan of god.

And he wills that none should perish.

So we or rather I beyond sight have faith in 2 things. Or maybe 3.

God is in charge.

God is responsible for everything.

God is both willing and able to fulfill his desires.

And he loves us.

That is the good news and the crux of my view of scripture and the world.

The whole thing is a work in progress.

And he is both willing and able to bring it all to a heavenly conclusion.

Everything in opposition to this is a lack of faith in god.

I am not in control of me or anyone else.

But god is..

And thank God that he is.

This is the faith that lets me wander and return.

To mess up sometimes or most of the time.

Because I believe that in the end he has me.

I don’t need to behave all the time.

I don’t mean I do things that hurt other people.

For me personally sometimes I get drunk.

According to some churches I live in sin with my girlfriend.

I work as a support worker.

I love my job. Bringing joy and looking after people who can’t look after themselves.

But sometimes I get drunk.

Sometimes I say I’ll do things and don’t do them.

But the good news is (at least as I see it) that this doesn’t matter.

Somebody else is in charge. Somebody much more capable than me. Somebody who knows and understands everything that is going on and has total control over it all.

So I don’t fight myself.

And the funny thing is I have found that by this not fighting myself or others I have become more and more stable as time has gone on.


Employement is slavery.

I’m not backing the claim that anyone is property.

Property is a fiction maintained by might.

But people who believe the fiction believe that their property is an extension of themselves therefore they look after it.

Like within the current worldsystem instead of slaves (property) we generally have employees.

The employees are very often exploited to the same degree as slaves.

But the employer unlike the slave owner doesn’t look after them as well.

Because the slave owner would see the slaves as an investment that decreases in value with bad treatment.

Whereas the employer don’t give a fuck.

When an employee is used up he just hires a new one.

A bit like how you would treat a car you bought compared to a car you rent.

Essentially the difference between a slave and an employee is the difference between owning and renting.

Oh and that employment is a much more subtle form of exploitation.

People think that all because they can choose who to slave for they are not slaves for some reason.

I still prefer my employment over slavery though.

I just think all forms of exploitation need to stop if humanity is to have any hope for the future.

Austerity is class warfare.

Austerity is class warfare.

They talk of how communism is bad but I ask “do you know what communism is?” And invariably the answer is no. They do not know.

In order for corporations to be deemed successful they must make more profit this year than they did last year.

Yes; cancer is the model they are working from.

Now the most effective way for them to increase profit is to decrease cost.

I know, I know I may sound a bit pedantic but bear with me.

How are they to cut cost?

Pay less for materials sure but how do the companies that produce those materials afford to sell them whilst maintaining profit growth?

It always comes down to the worker.

The worker takes a hit in the wallet so that growth can occur.

But wait. If the worker is getting paid less and less within a welfare state what will he do?

He won’t work.

And if that is allowed to happen then the employers would have to increase the workers wage to keep him working.

Supply and demand.

But the employers don’t want to do that and they got the money.

So they have bought the state apparatus and are now dismantling the welfare state.

Why? I hear you ask.

Because the employers want to be the only means of survival the worker has.

The employer wants all the leverage.

So the employer has to keep the employed at subsistence level.

They’ve also bought the media and have conned the working class into wanting this.

Have you seen shows like benefit street and all the shows about bailiffs? That’s capitalist propaganda right there.

I am of the working class. I am working class through and through.

Sadly as a result of inflation and the amount of work my class has to do we’ve been made stupid.

It’s not our fault.

A 40 hour work week doesn’t really leave much energy to educate yourself.

Sadly the working class has become like sheep bleating to be turned into a roast dinner for the employers.

We are living in the most effective propaganda machine the world has ever seen.

And to bring it to point.

They want you working longer.

They want you to work till you drop.

Why? Because they want to maximize profit. And it’s Labour that produces profit.

So they want to, nay they need to squeeze every last drop of Labour out of every single worker in order to maintain this insanity of constant growth of profits.

Where does this inevitably lead?

It leads to your granny working in a sweat shop for pennies so she can buy the product of an hour of her labour with a month of her wages.

In case you are wondering communism is the realization that this is the state of affairs and the movement by the working class to take back the product of their Labour from those who have taken it without working for it.

Do you see why capitalist propaganda has turned it into such a bogey man?

Eschatological maturity

“The throngs were astonished at His teaching for he was teaching them as one having authority” Matt 7:29



“Who is the image of the invisible God… Firstborn from among the dead” Col 1:15 – 18



“To you it has been given to know the secrets of the kingdom of the heavens, yet to those it has not been given” Matt 13:11



“According as Moses exalts the serpent in the wilderness, thus must the son of mankind be exalted” John 3:14




There is an inner and an outer teaching in scripture.



The outer is governed by law. According to the outer teaching the function of the law is to be obeyed.



The inner teaching is one of Man being brought to maturity. That is to Godhood. A place where he like God stands on his own two feet and assesses the situation. Where he speaks with his own authority.



So with Eve once the serpent had spoken to her it says “Then the woman saw that the tree was good for food, that it brought a yearning to the eyes and that the tree was desirable for gaining insight” Gen 3:6. This wasn’t a false seeing for God confirms it “Behold man has become as one of us in knowing good and evil” Gen 3:22. That indeed the fruit had brought insight and indeed – as the serpent had said – the fruit had made them more like God.



Adam and Eve didn’t fall when they ate of the tree.



Oh no!



They fell when instead of saying “Oi God why did you tell us not to eat of the tree? Why did you want to keep us in ignorance?” they cowered and said “It wasn’t my fault she/the snake made me do it.”



An Adult, a mature person is unconcerned with obedience or disobedience. Of course they don’t want to get hurt which is why an adult says “All things are lawful to me but not all things are expedient” 1 cor 10:23. You can trap your dick in the door if you want but it will hurt.



Adam and Eve were not functioning on that level. They were not thinking for themselves. They were not mature.


To be continued…




Service to god

A servant is a fake. That is the essence of servitude.
The definition of fake is unfreedom. What you do from freedom is real and is you.
Of course from this angle even your servitude is real. You from a position of freedom chose slavery.
What is this slavery. It is where someone else acts through you. 
You are already a slave of god. A perfect slave.
Where do you think your thoughts come from. They just pop into your awareness from you know not where. They are God’s thoughts all of them the good and the bad. Everything. There is no escaping god.
I create good and evil he says the light and dark.
What bigger concept can you have than that.
You want to do something better that cannot be done any better than it is already being done.
Now my advice to you is this. Float don’t cling. Follow the easy path.
Not because it is good or that god will be pleased. You are already in whatever state you are in a perfect manifestation of God’s will. Bit when you cling you suffer and if you’re anything like me you don’t like suffering.
Rest and know that I am god

Come on Corbyn!

I think terrorism and immigration are the result of something deeper and more nefarious.

In fact I think their main function is one of distraction.

It is well documented that the actions of Britain and America have created is. 

But beyond even that. Society is made up of 2 fundamental classes. The exploited and the exploiter.

The only real issue is that exploitation is the system we live in and this fact is what gives rise to everything else. 

If you deal with immigration new even worse ills will arise (for instance the increased automation of jobs. Instead of an immigrant taking your job it will be a robot)

Corbyn is the only mp who is dealing with the fundamental issue and the establishment is shitting themselves. 

For example: 0 hour contracts are things that give more power to the exploiters. When the situation changes and your exploitation ceases to be profitable then they can just get rid of you.

Why do you think immigration gets so much coverage in the media? It’s a punch and Judy show to distract you while they put the shackles on.


We think we want to be special but what does it mean to be special?

It’s an assignation. It exists in the interstitial space between objects. It is a judgement of relation between things.

This is different, unique, unparallelled.

But once you see you’re special so what. Each snowflake is unique but does the snowflake get anything out of it?

So i’m special. I’m awesome. So what. The awesomeness is a tag put on at the end. The little bow on the top of the hamper that lets us know that the contents are worth something.

But in the enjoyment of the hamper, as it’s consumed there’s no consumption of the awesome. It’s carried over. That will be awesome. That is awesome. That was awesome.


We don’t really want it.

It’s tat.

What we really want is mum to hold us in her arms like she did when we were young. 

We want to play in the mud with each other again. Have that intense interaction with one another children have so easily when they are constructing twig dams and rolling down hills.

We’ve had it denied to us through our conditioning. We’ve lost play and been taught to want to be special.

We’re all consumed by the drive to get (what turn out to be) tags. Accolades. Estimations.

We’ve forgotten it’s ourselves who are the consumers of ourselves. We have to enjoy being us whatever accolade we’re given.

I may be miserable but at least… at least what. Fuck it whatever it is. But i tried, but i’m strong, but i’m different.

No no no fuck it truly into the ground. They’re fictions and we’re real. Don’t bargain yourself away for a tatty accolade enjoy yourself.

Enjoy your self!

The narcissist’s dream

The trap can be encapsulated in an image.

There is a stage and on this stage is a dancing woman. The crowd stares in wonder as she convulses to the rythym.


This image is repeated again and again in popular media.

The clubs are full of individuals all on their seperate stages surrounded by their own gawping spectators.

The music industry has flooded the public consciousness with vacuous dreams of celebraty.

Everyone’s walking around; the central protagonist in their private drama where stuff matters and where what happens is important.

But it’s not. It’s all trash and the masses have gobbled it up.

Oh she said this and he did that.

She called me a slag oh no oh no what am i going to do they criticized my parenting style.

It’s all tat and people have wilfully impaled themselves onto mediocrity. Onto a humdrum existence with no depth, no insight. A black and white 2 dimensional existence.

Despratly they try to maintain the extreme emotional high of the fashionably late entrance.

It’s all a scream for attention but when the spotlight’s on them what have they actually got to say? A schoolgirl scream as a factory produced dream streams nonsense into a microphone.

And the worst of it is that this vacuity is miserable. The stage is an arduous trap. It’s a strain. The narcissist’s dream is a hell for the narcissist as well you know.

What should we work towards.

Ethics is a thick tangle of a puzzle isn’t it?

It seems that for every person you ask they have a different idea concerning what is good and what is bad.

Once you let go of the idea that good and bad have any existence in themselves that would force us to construct them in a particular way we can become more practical in our thinking about them.

The first step is to realise that moral statements are really statements of preference. Their content is determined through the collusion of an individuals desires and his empirical context.

For an individual it is easy to discover what is good. He just asks himself what it is he wants.

The problem of ethics arises in the interaction of many individuals. What should humans as a whole do and call good.

I think it needs to be as general an ethic as possible. It must allow the widest range of freedom; give the freest rein to individual preference.

We should as a species seek to maximise the amount each individual member can do what they want to do when they want to do it.

The language of modern love

The christmas tree shines its desperate appeal to togetherness
But behind it shines the glare of todays alonenes

we hide behind these symbols

a barricade against the empty glaciers of life as it is.

There is no security and our search for the secure loses for us the very thing we’re seeking to secure.

Two people barricaded behind the walls they’ve secured to protect themselves against that which they seek.

Two seperate languages spoken in silence a silence un broachable an isolatiotion unspeakable.

Even when spoken it lies un interpretabable.

A frozen heart unthawable that shatters with heat. The german and english desperate to not shoot but the only language available are brazen jacket shells that tear and distort.

A constant distortion of love pleas twisted into knife stabs and wounds.


We shatter ourselves on ourselves left with our torn selves and empty wrapping paper.

A broken promise, a dead butterfly and a crushed crysalis

If only we could speak the speech of broken hearts and pusy cysts.

Live an ugly life of this and this

Forsake the shoulds and oughts give a fuck you to the massed prescriptions but no all that’s left is a grotty cyst that  hides the promise of what could of behind the supercilious should of.