The broken image called “You”(A poem)

You hide behind a broken image

Of shattered glass

Your hope to last

For one more breath

past the breath allotted as your last.

You fear the blast of your past

that carries you uncomfortably fast

to that last breath you’ll breath out too fast

And sighing say I shoulda, coulda but didn’t

Because I hid behind a broken smile

an unspoken word that dragged for a mile.

You hide because of the stutter

the stammer that putters

that bothers nobody but you

So you sit on the pew

Ashamed before a god that isn’t ashamed of you

Ashamed of scars that nobody sees but you

Ashamed of flaws that are divine glimmers in the eyes of others

But you don’t see the you the others see

You see the you constructed to condemn you by you against you

You see this because you aren’t you

You are a thought you have that has taken over you

an image placed between you and another

separating you from any other

You are a perversion that you need to smother

Go back into mother, lose your other

regain your tie to the all-person tether

Realize you are God the father.

Now smile.

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On self-improvement

Who taught us to be displeased with ourselves?

Where did we get the idea that we have to better ourselves?

This drive within ourselves to overcome what we perceive of as inadequacies is the internal equivalent of the external reality of rape and pillage that we call capitalism.

On a lot of dating websites there’s a category that asks you whether or not you are ambitious. Everyone says they are.

Ambition is the ethic par excellence in our society.

What is ambition if not a dis-satisfaction with where-ever and what-ever you are now. That is to say that the driving ideal of the world civilisation is self-loathing!

We hate ourselves and because we hate ourselves we do violence to ourselves and others.

We seek to locate the flaw either within or without.

I truly think that the only way to be sane, to be at peace, to love yourself is to shed society.

This doesn’t mean don’t do things or don’t work. It means a fuck you to all ideals, to self-perfection, and to self-betterment.

Of course there is an irony here because in order to inhabit this state one must shed their socializations and this is a long, difficult process. It is a constant state of repentance, of turning away, of seeing that self-loathing within oneself which has been your mainstay throughout your life and saying “Fuck you” then turning away from it internally.

By ignoring it after a while – like the spoilt brat it is – it will just go away. Every now and then it will rear its ugly head and because after a while of doing this you begin to see it for the destructive son of a bitch it is you won’t be tempted to engage it anymore.

But it’s clever. With me for years it kept its spiteful talons in my flesh through making me feel bad about myself in comparison with others. Now it’s changed its tune. I compare myself with others and I come out smelling of roses; they’re all so stupid.

But I know it and it’s wily ways and it can fuck the fuck off!

Mental Illness and the internal narrative

Most mental illness can be traced to narcissism.

Previously I said that mental illness is when the self society demands of an individual is something the individual cannot attain to. The conflict between the real self of the individual and the self society glorifies being mental illness.

Now this still holds but it doesn’t go deep enough.

Most people spend their whole lifes as if they are on stage; as if they are playing a role in a drama. Of course this role is the central role.

Just listen to the internal dialogue you have when you are feeling depressed, anxious or whatever.

“Poor me, why are they looking at me, what did I do to deserve this, why is this happening to me, they aren’t showing me enough appreciation…”

The problem with perceiving yourself in this way is that in any drama (or even comedy) there has to be suffering, conflict, and unattained desires.

Happy people have a different dialogue.

“My life is so good, everyone loves me, I’m so happy…”

Very happy and content people have no dialogue.

In a sense we construct a narrative about ourselves and then we project ourselves into that narrative. The problem here is that society doesn’t applaud positive narratives about the self.

Try telling people you think you are a genius and try telling people you think you are shit. Compare the results. I bet that you will be called names and put down if you declare a positive narrative concerning yourself but people will rally around you if you declare a negative narrative. Just look at Russell Brand and Kanye West.

What this essentially does is positively reinforce a negative opinion of yourself that few people are able to overcome or even realize as the cause of their suffering. Few people have access to a realm of knowledge that transcends the opinions of others.

No matter how much they may affirm that all because everyone says something is so doesn’t mean it is so they still cannot let go of popular opinion. They cannot let go of that crutch and learn to walk on their own.

There is a way out though but it is slow and gradual. There are no on and off switches, you are not a computer; you are a plant and plants grow slowly.

The way out is to recondition your mind to shut-up. Don’t try to replace the negative narrative with a positive narrative. Just practice shutting that voice in your nut up. This is the power of mindfulness and meditation.

We have better things to learn from children than they from us!

Today at work, whilst I was cleaning the windows; there were a group of mothers with their children. The children were all toddlers.

They were running around trees in ecstasies of delight.

The children that is; not the adults. They were just stood with their prams and their touch-screen phones sedately discussing the weather (which was glorious).

As I listened I heard the mothers say things like “Yes! That’s a tree, dear!” as if by giving a word for the thing that the child was frolicking around was something marvellous.

The child already knew what a tree was! He didn’t care about its name; he was already using it; he was already enjoying it.

I realized we have a lot more important and valuable things to learn from children than children have to learn from us.

The one thing children have that we don’t need is the need for approval.

We’re all born “approval junkies” as the brilliant film “revolver” states.

The function of the desire for approval is to motivate the child to learn to function in the world. To give it the umph necessary to enter new realms of play.

But once this function is fulfilled the need for approval becomes a bane. It become The (with a capital T) curse that stops us playing, frolicking and using life for what life’s for: fun.

What we need to learn from the child is to be care-free; to play; to run around trees giggling in delight.

What we need to learn from children is that fun is free; play is the purpose of life; to laugh hysterically at apparently inconsequential things and to laugh at the stares!

And parents need to stop inculcating shame (a consequence of the need for approval) into their children. But I know, I know! You’re so caught up so much in the anxiety caused by your child acting out of the ordinary that you can’t help it.

Oh please like and subscribe. I’m still an approval junkie; a dog that wags its tail when you pat its head and tell it it’s been a good boy!

Naked Revolution

Naked Revolution.

 

The thing is freedom!

 

I should be free to wear nothing if I want to!

 

Clothes cost money and take effort to put on; all you have to do if you don’t want to see me naked is not look at me.

 

You know turn your head. You’re doing it all the time anyway so it’s not really that out of your way now is it?

But for me to pander to you commercially inspired social conditioning I have to waste money and effort on trousers, shirts and what not.

You know what I think you should do? Yes you with the morally outraged look on your face. I think you should fuck off!

The irrational cause of suffering in love

Have you ever noticed how irrational people are in their everyday social interactions.

Most domestic arguments are merely two people disagreeing about something and refusing to accept each other’s disagreement. Thus they spend hours head-butting the wall that the other’s disagreement presents. They will persist in trying to make the other believe what they believe and do what they want them to do.

This type of behaviour is often characterized by circularity. That is they just repeat over and over their reasons for believing or not believing a thing. They say and do the exact same thing again and again.

Now this mode of thought – or behaviour – is incredibly different to the mode of thought that people use to fix things.

This mind-set is typified by a calm observation of the problem and a multiplicity of different actions. They experiment with different actions until the problem is solved or they realize the problem is insoluble.

Why don’t people use the same methods in social interactions as they use when they try to fix things?

Try various ways of changing someone if you wish; but don’t just say and do the same things over and over which seems to be the default setting for most people.

Einstein (I think; though I am unsure. But it doesn’t really matter who said it because it’s just a good quote) said “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing again and again but expecting different results.” According to this definition pretty much everyone is insane.

How society robs people of their passion

A while ago I wrote a blog talking about how people when they judge beauty aren’t really judging based on their innate sense of the beautiful. They are actually comparing a person to a societal norm (thin, big boobs and etc). They call beautiful that which approximates that standard.

They have literally been robbed of their sense of beauty by the media.

Today I want to talk about passion. Passion is that feeling one has towards a certain activity like painting, writing, art, literature or whatever.

Yet again the media is the culprit in this story. The media produces entertainment that uses knowledge of the dopamine system to get people hooked.

It hooks them at a young age.

The stimulation people receive from media productions satiate the hunger that motivates people to find their passion. They become content with the productions of media and then never feel the need to create themselves.

You can recognize how negative this is in that our creations are expressions of our selves. So if we are not pursuing our passions we are losing ourselves. Just look at how homogeneous society has become. All the boys like the football and the action and all the girls like the fashion and the dainty stuff.

Even the idea that the clothes you wear express who you are is a just silly. You buy your clothes from shops like new look or what-ever and they have certain trends. You select from the trends what you think looks best on you. The problem is that you’re limiting your expression to a small palate that is defined by the clothing corporations.

This is of course designed to pacify the working masses because passions take time to develop and to develop a taste for. Whereas a TV program is just an hour-long affair and requires no development on the part of the consumer (which is why all TV is at primary school level).

The standard of productions the media companies produce is so high (as a result of having a large staff) that it makes people apathetic because “What’s the point in me making something if I can’t make it that good?”

Pragmatism versus Fun

Have you ever come across those people who when you talk about art, philosophy or any such subject always say “But what’s the point of it?”

Now what they are really asking is “what work does it do?”

Work is defined as doing something for a purpose. The best definition of work I have heard (from myself (hello ego!)) is “The thing that we do; that we don’t want to do; so that we can do what we want to do”

To make the pragmatic value the value par excellence is silly.

Imagine you have completed all the work and have fulfilled all pragmatic necessities. what activity are you left with? Nothing. You’d just sit there waiting for another bit of work to come along.

Really the pragmatic concern is the least important. What is important is what you are working for. For some people this is material to produce art; for others it is to buy games to play on their computer.

The activities we do for their intrinsic value are the really important activities because they give meaning and purpose to our work. They are the reason for which we work.

I believe philosophy to be hugely beneficial; but I don’t practice it for its benefits. I do it because I happen to find it fun.

It is of collateral benefit that it gives me a greater perspective on experience. That it has enabled me to see the limp shackles that loosely bind us. These would be good reasons to practice philosophy even if you didn’t enjoy it; but they are not the reasons I do it.

I clean 12 hours a week so I can buy books on all sorts of subjects because I enjoy learning and the different perspectives on experience learning gives. That is the reason I work the minimum amount of time so I can spend the maximum amount of time doing that for which I work.

Why I think people are stupid!

The thing is… I don’t think people are stupid; People think people are stupid.

 

Obviously they don’t think this explicitly but subconsciously. It is something that is inculcated into them from a young age.

Primary and secondary school (If I remember correctly and I may not) was mainly concerned with learning facts.

Picture the set-up: You are in a class room with a teacher.

Pause.

Now what is the teacher? The teacher is an authority figure. That is; if you have a question you go to the teacher. This is another way of saying “If you have a question do not go to your classmates.” The implicit reason for which – and because it’s implicit it’s the reason the sub-conscious gets its greasy mitts on it – is that teacher is clever and your class-mates are stupid.

Play.

 

The teacher writes stuff up on the board and hands out text books. Often the teacher is incapable of answering a lot of the questions that he/she is posed. This shows that the source of the facts is so far removed from the child that the teacher becomes almost a priest. She dishes out the facts that are required for passing a test like a priest dishing out sermons from the bible.

The teacher even has a pulpit:  the desk behind which she sits.

 

All this encourages the sit down and shut up because what you have to say is worthless ethic in the children. It is this that has tricked people into thinking they are stupid.

 

Of course the child grown to adulthood doesn’t think he is stupid! He’s got exam results to prove he isn’t. Nevertheless an exam result is a measurement of obedience and not intelligence!

 

We all have the capacity to produce valid facts/opinions (I think the only difference between the two is that facts are opinions accepted by many people). The scientific method is open to all. The methods philosophers use to create systems of thought and theories are open to all.

 

But because of the manner in which most are taught this capacity is hidden from them.

 

This is of course because you don’t need slaves to ask questions you just need them to be able to operate machinery.

 

 

 

Problems with the Phenomenological Rebuttal of Free-Will cont….

The other way it could be is that all that you call your actions, intentions, emotions and experiences are all the actions of a kind of performer. You are just watching the performer do its thing and this performer has tricked you into thinking you are it. Much like a good movie or theatre company can make the audience forget themselves for a bit.

This would account for why we don’t know what we are going to choose before we choose it; what we will think before we think it. It would account for the opaque nature of the black box out of which all our experiences (I include intentions and decisions within that category) come.

Though both these pictures could be the case I genuinely believe we are merely passive observers in our lifes.

We have become so caught up in the drama on the stage that we have forgotten that it isn’t us up there.

Just like a play has a beginning and an end; life has a beginning and an end. Maybe at the end we’ll get to take our masks off and discover we were the same entity playing or the parts.

Or we might just go into oblivion knowing nothing forever which ain’t that bad if you think about it.