Special

We think we want to be special but what does it mean to be special?

It’s an assignation. It exists in the interstitial space between objects. It is a judgement of relation between things.

This is different, unique, unparallelled.

But once you see you’re special so what. Each snowflake is unique but does the snowflake get anything out of it?

So i’m special. I’m awesome. So what. The awesomeness is a tag put on at the end. The little bow on the top of the hamper that lets us know that the contents are worth something.

But in the enjoyment of the hamper, as it’s consumed there’s no consumption of the awesome. It’s carried over. That will be awesome. That is awesome. That was awesome.

Specialness.

We don’t really want it.

It’s tat.

What we really want is mum to hold us in her arms like she did when we were young. 

We want to play in the mud with each other again. Have that intense interaction with one another children have so easily when they are constructing twig dams and rolling down hills.

We’ve had it denied to us through our conditioning. We’ve lost play and been taught to want to be special.

We’re all consumed by the drive to get (what turn out to be) tags. Accolades. Estimations.

We’ve forgotten it’s ourselves who are the consumers of ourselves. We have to enjoy being us whatever accolade we’re given.

I may be miserable but at least… at least what. Fuck it whatever it is. But i tried, but i’m strong, but i’m different.

No no no fuck it truly into the ground. They’re fictions and we’re real. Don’t bargain yourself away for a tatty accolade enjoy yourself.

Enjoy your self!

The narcissist’s dream

The trap can be encapsulated in an image.

 
There is a stage and on this stage is a dancing woman. The crowd stares in wonder as she convulses to the rythym.

 

This image is repeated again and again in popular media.

 
The clubs are full of individuals all on their seperate stages surrounded by their own gawping spectators.

 
The music industry has flooded the public consciousness with vacuous dreams of celebraty.

 
Everyone’s walking around; the central protagonist in their private drama where stuff matters and where what happens is important.

 
But it’s not. It’s all trash and the masses have gobbled it up.

 
Oh she said this and he did that.

 
She called me a slag oh no oh no what am i going to do they criticized my parenting style.

 
It’s all tat and people have wilfully impaled themselves onto mediocrity. Onto a humdrum existence with no depth, no insight. A black and white 2 dimensional existence.

 
Despratly they try to maintain the extreme emotional high of the fashionably late entrance.

 
It’s all a scream for attention but when the spotlight’s on them what have they actually got to say? A schoolgirl scream as a factory produced dream streams nonsense into a microphone.

 
And the worst of it is that this vacuity is miserable. The stage is an arduous trap. It’s a strain. The narcissist’s dream is a hell for the narcissist as well you know.

What should we work towards.

Ethics is a thick tangle of a puzzle isn’t it?

It seems that for every person you ask they have a different idea concerning what is good and what is bad.

Once you let go of the idea that good and bad have any existence in themselves that would force us to construct them in a particular way we can become more practical in our thinking about them.

The first step is to realise that moral statements are really statements of preference. Their content is determined through the collusion of an individuals desires and his empirical context.

For an individual it is easy to discover what is good. He just asks himself what it is he wants.

The problem of ethics arises in the interaction of many individuals. What should humans as a whole do and call good.

I think it needs to be as general an ethic as possible. It must allow the widest range of freedom; give the freest rein to individual preference.

We should as a species seek to maximise the amount each individual member can do what they want to do when they want to do it.