Eat your meat.

Where there is no law there is no sin.

The law aka the administration of death.

That is what salvation is from dear brother.

Read this and see the deep truth.

The truth the elites have hidden from us.

The bible has a glorious message and it’s this.

What they have twisted it into is a superficial mess.

Their gospel is a toy a toddler would play with for 5 minutes and then toss away in disgust.

I go to church and I’m expecting to hear the real low down on life.

You know the big secret.

But all I get is a pitiful “be a good boy and be free advertising for us”

There’s no meat.

But I have given you a plateful of meat here brother.

Wean yourself off the milk of the law.

You’re a grown man. Not a baby.

You can’t worship in spirit and truth and follow the law.

The law works through fear.

You do or don’t do because of fear of punishment and desire for reward.

That is you are a fake. A make believe. A pretend person.

To live in the spirit and in truth you must leave behind the law.

And god made the law a bitter pill for the same reason mothers used to put wormwood on their nipples.

They make it horrible to force the baby to spit it out in disgust.

Stop drinking milk.

Stop propagating fear.

Stop propagating hate.

Stop working for satan.

I pray to our father that the scales may come off your eyes and you may walk in newness of life as the new creation.

The letter killeth but the spirit bringeth life.

Where the spirit of the Lord is there is freedom.

There is no fear in love.

Shed the law like the rotten carcass it is and be the beautiful work of art our heavenly father has made you.


Eat your meat. You’ve had your fill of milk.


How I live my life now.

The way I live my life now isn’t so much to be better at stuff.

Sometimes I try and be happier or more confident. I’ve even got tricks that work to achieve that effect.

Seriously, no word of a lie now, no matter how down in the dumps I get; no matter how stuttery, anxious and unable to look you in the eye I get all I have to do to get out of that muddle is start meditating.

I just sit down for 20 minutes twice a day if I can or even once a day and within days – seriously I kid you not – it just starts fixing itself.

No effort.

I still get anxious and stressed and what have you but I can still look you in the eye.

I think I’m a naturally excitable chap and part of my problem is that I’ve stigmatized that and so taught myself that I’m a naughty boy if I lose my equanimity.

In a sense I’ve tricked myself into thinking that the manifestation of energy is a bad thing.

And meditation gets me out of that bind.

The funny thing is once I get to a sufficient state of Buddha feeling I often relapse.

I think this is natural.

I mean if I constantly maintained the Buddha state I would do so out of fear of the relapsed state.

So I just bounce from one to the other.

And the thing is each bounce doesn’t just seem a mundane back and forth. I’m becoming more and more comfortable with myself when I don’t do what I know I should and do what I know I shouldn’t.

Now I can hear gasps of shock in my imagined audience. But the strange thing is that as I have become more comfortable with the mess I am I have been able to maintain a competence within that mess that I couldn’t when I fought it.

The mess doesn’t change. I still stutter, feel anxious and what not but on another level I’m not there trying to fight it.

I think this is the bodisattva (I probably haven’t spelt that right but those who care about such trivial nonsense ain’t getting it and those that don’t don’t need to get it. Haha do you enjoy my dance? I do) phenomena.

I think everyone gets those flashes or times of satori, enlightenment or whatever and in them they have the choice whether or not to come back and they always come back because the only reason they wouldn’t is fear and satori and fear are kind of mutually exclusive.

Most people get them on the edge of sleep and wakefulness.

I don’t know if meditation and mindfulness would work for you. I just know they do for me. I hope they work for you. But you might be on a different path.

Maybe there is no hope for you. I simply don’t know. I just know what works for me and I feel so lucky it does.

The purpose-less ground of purpose

There is a sense in which people think nature is stupid.

They think a huge mistake was made when nature spawned man and that man is now going to turn around and destroy nature.

“Obviously” they say “nature doesn’t want that!”

But nature doesn’t mind what happens. All this stuff springs up and passes away. For no reason.

Sometimes reasons spring up. They have their day and when they are fulfilled puff they go like everything else.

Sometimes they don’t even get fulfilled they just get forgotten. It doesn’t matter; the same event happens to the fulfilled as well as the unfulfilled purpose eventually.

But nature, the tao, god or whatever sign you want doesn’t mind what happens.

What we’ve done when we say nature is stupid is separated a small part of nature from the rest and then attributed to it humanity.

We have made an image of a bit of nature we call earth and said it cares about going on as it is and it’s stupid because it has brought about it’s own destruction by giving birth to man.

But there are other planets.

There is the universe.

Really it’s an expression of our own fear for survival.

We want nature to be on our side. So we attribute to it our own interests.

If God has a master plan
That only He understands
I hope it’s your eyes He’s seeing through

As depeche mode put it.

We call nature stupid because it isn’t fulfilling the purposes we want it to have; because it has no purposes.

It’s just stuff happening.

In defence of Alan Watts and Osho

I have heard countless times that Alan watts and osho were immoral. Alan watts was into his booze and had failed marriages and osho… Well osho I have heard liked his ladies.

I don’t know how true this is and I don’t really care. I’ve never been one for biographical information because words stand or fall on their own.

The people that report this to me think they are revealing the charlatanism of these guru types but really they are revealing that they either haven’t read/heard what they have to say or that they have but have failed to understand.

Now if you get Alan Watts and Osho you will see that what they are describing is freedom. That good and bad are a game we construct on top of reality.

Sure reality supports our games but it also supports many other games. Even further it supports many mutually exclusive games.

There’s an unspoken bit of any moral claim. “X is good” is how they are presented but if they wanted to be a more accurate representation they should add “according to me”.

Freedom is a double edged sword in that you cannot have it if you do not give it to everything else. As a human I can’t or rather won’t give it to everyone because quite simply I am a selfish individual concerned over the state of my neck.

I want to not be murdered and stolen from in other words.

So I am for locking up murderers because the less murderers wandering around the less likely I am to be murdered.

As a result of this if I murder I am likely to be locked up. I have exchanged my freedom from come uppance if I murder for an increased likelihood of not being murdered.

I refuse to take refuge in a fiction about how the cosmos supports my moral preferences.

But what Alan Watts talks about is what is. He doesn’t give any rules. Therefore he cannot be a charlaten.

The reason I admire these men… Or rather the reason I experience thrills at what they say is that I have always had that inkling that if you could be in someone else’s shoes you could forgive them easily.

I have had a desire for as long as I can remember to be able to express all the dark and grotty secrets in an open manner.

Funnily enough as I have followed this carrot I have cared less about it. But anyway…

The people who criticize people like Alan and Osho in this way are not really criticizing them at all.

They are really saying “I don’t like what they say and freedom scares me” but trying to mask it in an cloak of objectivity.

Again it’s an example of what people are doing with morality all the time.

They are scared. They don’t want to be hurt. So they express this desire as if it were a law of nature in the hopes that it will stop people hurting them.

It may work for some people but not for everyone as is evidenced by the packed state of the prison system.

Funnily enough I bet if you were to ask criminals whether they thought their action was good or bad a lot of them would say it was bad and they felt guilty.

What this shows is that morality and guilt are heavy shields that just don’t work.

So I’ve thrown mine away.

Which is the advice of Alan and osho.

So to finish.

What these people are really saying is that people like Alan Watts aren’t carrying a shield and they should be and what is more they are telling other people to throw their shields away!

Why do we believe what we believe.

Any statement can be proven or disproven. This holds especially true of science; scientific facts have a Half-Life. At least if QI is to be believed.

Now what does this mean for belief?

Belief is very rarely anything to do with truth. Ask yourself this question and you will see this.

How do you decide whether something is true or not?

If you don’t know the answer to this question then how do you lay claim to truth as a value for any of your opinions.

Ultimately this leads to a paradox. Say you do have an answer for this question well how do you know it is the right answer?

You are using the answer as a means of deciding between truth and falsehood but how do you assign either value to the means. Who polices the policeman? Who judges the judge?

All beliefs are constructions that we build on top of experience. This can be normal run-of-the-mill sensory experience or spiritual experience. It really doesn’t matter how you get the experience.

We generally choose the construction that satisfies us in some sense. That is our beliefs are like the scratch marks above a flea bite. We have an itch to scratch so we scratch it.

A lot of people are anxious concerning death. They worry about what will happen to them or their loved ones. So their particular scratch is a belief in an after life.

Now all because your beliefs are a result of a need for satisfaction doesn’t mean that they are false. This would be falling for the genetic fallacy: a proposition is not true or false because of how you came to it.

It may disagree with the “truth” according to another decision procedure. We can’t really get at the Truth with a bit T to know if a statement is true or false in an absolute sense.

Zen knows this. Which is why Zen is all about the death of constructs. Just take experience as it comes. Don’t build castles out of sand.

But this can go a bit too far. At least according to my particular itches.

It is fun to build constructions and seeing as we cannot get to the big truth we might as well build pretty castles in the sand. But we mustn’t take them to seriously.

Atheism, theism and even agnosticism are all of the same order of validity as Harry potter and Lord of the rings.

Some people enjoy atheism and some enjoy theism.

The funny thing is though that if you have ears to hear it they all end up saying the same thing. They all end up being languages in which you can tell people “behave” or “It doesn’t matter what they do” just as in French and English you can say “the glass is on the table”.

People argue over the relative merits of language and that is really what the religions have been doing for god knows how long.

Then you see the whole thing is like football teams and their fans. They are all the same but people support one or the other for whatever reasons they can use to con themselves into taking the game seriously.

And they do this because it’s a hoot.

You want to hear what you want to hear; you don’t hear what is.

I think the problem a lot of people have with getting what I have been talking about isn’t that it is inherently difficult to understand. It’s really quite simple.

There is nothing to be done for god and nothing to be done to gain unity with god because god needs nothing done for him and you already are united with him.

He’s god! Don’t you get it. If he needs stuff done for him then he isn’t god. It’s really that simple.

Now you don’t have to use the word god. It is just a word. Source, creation, what is, the ground of being and the structure and fabric of existence all do perfectly well for pointing to this.

He is neither good or bad but the context within which such dichotomies can exist.

Now the reason you have trouble getting this is because you want to be told what to do. It’s not enough for any old plonker to tell you; you need someone with authority to tell you what to do.

So you look for an authority and because if you look hard enough for something you’ll find it even if it isn’t there you find an authority. It could be an imam, god, Allah or Stephen fry.

You give them the authority because you choose to have them over you from the many people and things begging to tell you what to do.

So when I say “there’s nothing to be done” I’ve had people say “how am I supposed to live my life?”

I shrug my shoulders.

I’m no authority.

“Look mate” I tell them “I don’t know where I’m going and I don’t know where to go. I’m in the same boat as you and I’m lazy so I don’t really want to have to come up with stuff for you to do… I have enough trouble coming up with stuff for me to do haha

“But here’s an idea. See that steak? It looks well tasty doesn’t it? Let’s go gobble it up.”

And we eat the steak and it’s lovely and that’s really all there is to it.

What we have done is we have cast the heavenlies in the light of our own society.

Now we have the poor doing the work for the rich.

The poor need to be worked for the rich don’t because they have it all.

In the same way we have got a theological system whereby us broken suffering finite beings are supposed to Labour for the absolute and perfect.

We’ve really put the cart before the horse.

The illusion

Every now and then god gets bored of being blissful so he plays these far out games where he pretends he isn’t him but poor little us who get hurt and die.

He’s so good that he fools himself absolutely.

I mean you don’t feel like god do you.

Neither do I.

But just as I can show you an illusion. Like say one of those illusions where some lines look like they are different sizes but are really the same size.

You can even know it’s an illusion and how it works. But still your eyes are fooled by it.

Just in the same way it can be shown that if there is a god then you are god because of what we say god is but we can never the less feel like we are seperate from everything.

That we are not god who is supposed to be the ground of being. The fabric and structure of existence.

That we are poor little mes who are the victims of circumstance.

I mean whatever is putting on this whole show is such a good actor that he’s got himself on the edge of his seat! He’s even got himself committing suicide even though he knows it’s a show.

The biblical dialectic

The Torah pushes the lie that we are separate from god. It doesn’t do this by telling us to do bad things. It’s much more subtle than that.

By the very act of issuing a command god initiated the seperation. You don’t tell yourself what to do. Even if you do have a little voice saying “do so and so at such and such a time” you are projecting this from outside of yourself.

At least it appears that way. Are you that voice? Surely not because it comes and it goes and you remain. So even when you give a command to yourself you have to initiate a seperation. You need to create a distinction between the you who tells you what to do and the you who does (or often doesn’t) do what you are told.

Now then this distinction is death. It is dissolution. That is to say it is a fragmentation of a whole.

This occurs whether you are obedient or not. That is to say that obedience is irrelevant when it comes to this seperation.

So really Adam and eve died the day they were told not to eat. They just became aware of it when they and god went their seperate ways.

When their will became evidently seperated from the superficial will of god.

This is how Paul can say with one breath that “I delight in the law of god after the inward man” and with the next that “the commandment which was (apparently) ordained to life I found to be unto death”.

Now of course I’m missing out some steps. The mechanism by which the command creates the illusion of seperation or death is sin which as I have shown elsewhere (just type sin in my search bar) is failure.

So we come to feel seperate from god when we fail to do what god commands.

But that seperation was already there when god gave the command. See god pushed us away we didn’t flee from him. At least in the biblical narrative.

Now how would doing what god commands make any difference? It obviously wouldn’t. At least not to the seperation between us and god.

Really when you are under the law oneness with god is simply not on the table. You may feel he is pleased with you or displeased with you; which one is entirely dependent upon how hard on yourself you are.

But guilt or innocence do nothing to change it. In fact they both exacerbate the sense of seperation.

This is why Paul says in 1 corinthians “all things are lawful to me”. It’s really the same statement as “We are saved by Grace”. Our unity with god just is. You see it or you don’t. If you see it then no matter what you do it will still be there.

This seeing is something you either have or you don’t. It doesn’t matter how naughty or nice you are. I’m actually convinced that Charles Manson gets this… as did Ghandi.

God takes responsibility for evil. “Shall there be evil in a city and the Lord hath not done it”. “I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.

Don’t try and get him off the hook. Who made you God’s lawyer? Don’t you think he can do a better job himself?

What is salvation? Eternal life right? And what is eternal life? “this is life eternal, that they might know thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom thou hast sent“.

Jesus said of himself “The Son can do nothing of himself, but what he seeth the Father do: for what things soever he doeth, these also doeth the Son likewise.

What Jesus was doing was showing our actual (whether we know it or not, whether we like it not) relationship to god.

Look at yourself as you think, as you act and as you experience. Everything and I mean everything; your thoughts, decisions, feelings and everything you sense have this quality of coming from nowhere and going nowhere.

What do you think that nowhere is? All because you are not aware of a thing doesn’t mean it’s not there and this thing, this place from which everything you call you comes is the ultimate invisible.

It can’t be spoken.

It can’t be touched.

It can’t be conceived.

And it’s from there that we come and we go. Not just way back then when I metastasized from my mother but right now. Right this second we are proceeding out from this unmentionable and vanishing into it.

We are the image of it. As is everything else.

Who is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of every creature:

In revelations it says of Christ he was the “Lamb slain from the foundation of the world“. What this is saying is the exact same thing that the communion is saying.

Jesus took bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it and gave it to his disciples, saying, “Take and eat; this is my body.”

This act along with the crucifixion was pointing back to the creation.

God incarnated himself in physical form and then crucified himself. He split himself up into many parts.

This incarnation isn’t seperate from god just as the movements of a dancer aren’t seperate from the dancer.

Then hid from himself by acting out man and telling man (himself) what to do. Just as you do in your head all the time with all your pretend conversations.

Does this mean the death of Jesus 2000 years ago was just a symbol? In a way it does but it’s a symbol that points forward as well as backward.

It was the end of the hide part of the cosmic game of hide and seek god plays with himself and it’s defining feature was “all things are lawful for me”. It was the end of the command.

At least it was for the Hebrews.

Who are you?

” For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of His good pleasure.” Phil. 2:13

To see this is to see god peeping out of the eyes of everyone.

It makes my job a wonderful act.

I’m a support worker.

And I see god in them all.

The same I that is behind me or my ego is the I that is behind yours and everyone’s and the people I care for.

What does Paul say to the Athenians? That god is closer than they think.

“The kingdom of heaven is within you.”

You know when Jesus says he is the son of God and the Jews try to stone him and he replies:

Do not your own scriptures say you are little God’s?

In the kjv that “the” in “The son of god” is in italics because it isn’t what the Greek says.

The Greek says “I am a (A) son of god.”

The spirit of the Lord is a lamp that searcheth out the inward parts of a man.

I believe this refers to consciousness.

Deep deep down and far far in you are god because there is nothing else but god.

What else could there be?

Nihilo ex nihil.

You, me and flowers and stones are acts that god puts on for shits and giggles.

Really you and me are illusions. A way for god to pretend he isn’t himself for a bit so he can have a thrill when he wakes up.

What other reason could there possibly be for god to act?

He already has it all.

Nothing can be added to him and nothing taken.

The only motive that makes sense for God to have is to play for fun and that’s what creation is.

All stories need a hero and a villain.

So god pretends to be both.

But no one is hurt because there is just god.

In all your sufferings I suffer with you.

He suffers with us because he is us.

But we aren’t powerful.

We are to god what your lap is to you.

You stand up and where is your lap?

The question why will take you home.

Why does god do what he does?

Why do you do what you do?

You only work so you can play and enjoy.

A purpose is a temporary thing.

A purpose is work.

The true wisdom lies in the pointless.

The pointless is play and dance and music.

Heaven and hell are the same place seen from different perspective.

Another word for futility is… well what is more futile than play.

Yet what do you love to do with your dog’s and kids?

Who told you you have to be warm?

Here am I forsaken and alone

Seeking for solace from a cold stone.

I suck at it’s pap sweet milk of oblivion

Wanting an other

to do me

For me.

I’m a cold stone seeking heat from amongst the cold stones

I don’t stop despite the blisters that come from my shaking groans.

For a bit the pain feels like warmth

But soon fades and all I’m left with is the cold and the pain.

One day a whisper will creep into my mind.

I’ll distrust it at first because it’s unfamiliar

Because all the other whispers disagree

And tell me this whisper’s seductive chant is dangerous.

But eventually I’ll be forced to turn and listen

By the endless failures

By the ceaseless cold.

The whisper says:

Who told you you have to be warm?

A shiver

exactly like all the shivers I’d shivered before

runs through me

except this time it’s different.