One time I was rejected by a girl.
Well it wasn’t the only time I had ever been rejected. You’d need to be a creature with loads of fingers to be able to count on your hands the times I’ve been rejected and dumped.
Anyway she gave that normal “It’s not you it’s me” line. She also said things like “I just don’t think I’m ready for a relationship” and so on.
You know all the things someone says when they don’t want to say why they really rejected you.
The reason she rejected me was because I wasn’t her type; our ways of living and values didn’t match up; and maybe she didn’t find me sexually attractive (but that’s obviously not true because my grandma says I’m handsome).
Now why all the evasions?
One obvious (and probably the main) reason is that she didn’t want to hurt my feelings; which is a laudable reason. But that isn’t the only reason.
Wait there; we need a bit more context.
We had gone on a date of sorts. We had kissed and fondled a bit.
In my eyes this behaviour (including actual intercourse) is done in order to test compatibility; to see if I was her type. Given this it’s perfectly fine to call it quits if you don’t think you and the other are compatible.
The problem is that some people label this behaviour “leading someone on” and this (especially when attached to women) is considered by those people as “sluttish” behaviour.
Of course it hurts when someone you find sexually attractive and want to be compatible with rejects you; but they haven’t done anything wrong by rejecting you!
If they have then I’ve done something wrong whenever I leave the Brussels-sprouts on the plate!
To get to the point.
We had an amicable and open conversation on Facebook after the rejection where I managed to get her to own up to the fact that she just didn’t like me in that way.
I didn’t do it in a nasty or forceful way. I said things like “You do know it’s fine to not like someone in that way?” and “You do know you’re not obliged to be with someone just because you kissed them?”
I talked to her about this because I was curious about why someone would use such evasions and eventually I got her to admit “It’s because I don’t want to seem like a bitch.”
This made me realize something!
When people insult people seriously it is because that person has failed to do what the person doing the insulting wanted them to do. It’s basically a masked way of saying “You’re not obeying me”.
I can see where the urge to call a woman who rejects you a bitch comes from; it’s a desperate ploy to get sex or a relationship. Also it comes from the pain of rejection; it’s a vent.
The silliness of using such tactics and being offended by them is easily seen because a bitch is a female dog and a human is a human.
Also you are trying to accuse someone of being promiscuous for not acting promiscuously!
Ha ha people are silly robots sometimes!