I couldn’t sleep last night because I slept for a few hours from 7 until 9 in the evening.
So I had that long period where the monsters are strongest and they whisper in your ear; it’s dark so it’s harder to ignore them and make them go away.
They’ve all grown out of a fear of losing you and the more I’ve fallen for you the stronger they have become.
What I experienced last weekend was something I had never experienced before! That level of love, openness and acceptance.
I don’t want to lose that and the monsters feed off that.
Again I was behaving terribly.
If I’m honest part of the motivation behind me allowing the monsters to express themselves through me to you was to emotionally manipulate you into sorting out the situation quicker.
That wasn’t the motivation I was conscious of at the time though. I was consciously just trying to open myself up to you, I was trying to share my experience and I was seeking solace.