That I’m something that you have to hide away from your family; that I’m something that you have to hide away from your everyday life makes me feel miserable.
I want to scream “I love placeholder” and I want you to scream “I love Chris” from the rooftops for the whole world to hear.
I want to post pics of you and me being happy together on Facebook.
I want to change my relationship status to “in a relationship with placeholder”
I want you to change your relationship status to “in a relationship with Chris”
I want to play with your dogs and meet your family.
But I can’t even be your friend on Facebook!
When I ponder these things I feel like I’m being wrenched apart by forces I barely understand!
[To which she replied that I had been flirting with someone on a Facebook group we belong to called Nakebook. It’s a secret page where we post non-erotic pictures of ourselves naked in order to de-sexualize the human form and take the power of determining beauty from the media]
But I haven’t been flirting with anyone!
Sure I said boobalicious but that’s just me giving positive affirmation to somebody I know is ashamed of her body. That’s partly what Nakebook is for!
That’s nothing compared to the fact that you share a bed with another man every night!
I’m in bed alone aching for you and you’re in bed with another man!
I know it’s not your fault but you’re going to have to have sex with him at some point to maintain the deception!
I feel as if you’re ashamed of me!
Here’s me boasting about you to all my friends and there’s you keeping me hidden like some grotty secret!
And I just can’t shake the feeling that I’m being toyed with.