Before I say what I am going to say I will tell you the decision I have reached so as not to worry you. I am going to go with the flow.
I need you to take control. By doing this I am trusting you.
When you are in different moods the world discloses different things to you.
Say you are miserable. The world discloses itself as a bleak place, you will notice the negative and not notice the positive.
And when you are happy the world shows the positive to you.
It’s a bit like moods are frequencies on a radio; by inhabiting a certain mood you tune into a different frequency of the world.
Now there is the world that me and you have created.
For the past few days I have been on a high and have only noticed the positive sides of it.
But now I am in a low mood and your situation appears bizarre to me.
You say you have tried to dump Monitor multiple times but because he lives in the same house as you he has made your life difficult as a means of getting you back. Each time you have caved.
This is symptomatic of a beautiful personality but also a weak personality.
The mistake you have made is the mistake a parent makes by giving into a child whenever it tantrums.
You have to grit your teeth, suffer the temporary discomfort because eventually the child will realize that he isn’t achieving his intention via those means.
You live with your parents.
When I said that they are knowingly forcing you to stay in a relationship you don’t want to be in; that they are aware that he is causing you suffering; I said “That they appear to be cunts for allowing the situation to continue despite having the power to end it.” (well that was the gist)
You said they’re nice people really.
Now one interpretation of this could be that they have developed an emotional attachment to Monitor and don’t want to cause him harm by kicking him out.
That interpretation is probably true if they are stupid people incapable of assessing situations properly.
On the other hand if they are not stupid people then they would realize that by forcing you to remain in this situation they are forcing you to get raped.
In a very real; but subtle sense, they are pimping you out to Monitor in return for the emotional gratification they get from having Monitor around.
But if as you said they are not that bad really then something doesn’t add up.
Either they are cunts and keeping you in a situation of suffering or you are lying about the difficulty of extricating yourself from the situation.
Now if you are lying it could be because you have fallen out of love with Monitor and in love with me but I’m an unknown.
You don’t want to jump out of a warm bed into no bed so to speak.
If that’s the case I’m fine with it.
I love you and love being with you and around you. So you do have a warm bed to jump into you just have to realize that.
Another possibility is that you are using me as some kind of surrogate. You and Monitor may want a child but Monitor is impotent so you use me as a sperm-donor.
If that was the case I’d be more than happy to play that role. I would just rather you didn’t put the love stuff on it because it would hurt when you got pregnant and left.
Another possibility is that Monitor isn’t even real. So I ask myself why would you create such a fiction and the answer that comes to mind is:
You would create such a fiction because you felt like you weren’t good enough to be loved.
So you felt that you needed to create a fictional situation out of which someone would save you and in so doing fall in love with you.
Again if that’s the case you needn’t do it because I love you not because you’re a damsel in distress. I love you because of how you are, how you act, how you love me and because of who you are.
Another possibility that occurred to me is that it could be a honey pot trap.
You know beautiful woman seduces man, beautiful woman’s boyfriend uses beautiful woman to get the man to go to a place and get killed. I consider that incredibly unlikely.
Bare in mind that this is just me stepping outside of myself and analysing the information you have given me.
The conclusion I have come to is that I am going to trust you; by trusting you I give space for the best thing I could possibly imagine to happen and that’s to share my life with you. I’m prepared to risk honey pot scenario for that dream.