I’m Feeling Broody

Today I was laying in bed, having my post-work nap. In that time before you are asleep I was day-dreaming about bringing up kids.

I can see you’re laughing.

“What’s a man doing being broody; that’s what women do. He must be some kind of effete wanker!”

But that’s silly social prejudice for you; trying to make us stick to artificial roles.

In my opinion all that makes a woman a woman is a fanny and boobies and all that makes a man a man is a winky and balls.

Not any of this “Men do sports and act hard” and “Women like shopping and dainty things” crap that society would have us munching down like gone off defecatory produce (Yes I mean gone off shit).

What triggered the daydream was a memory of when I jumped off a swing and sprained my ankle.

Thus starts the rendition:

“Owww!” My son screamed in pain as he landed badly.

– It could be a daughter; but I didn’t choose the gender of my child in the daydream –

I wandered over calmly because I think by panicking you condition your child to see pain as something to panic about.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“My foot hurts daddy!” he said.

    • Oh I dream of the day I hear that word “daddy” said to me –

“How do you know it hurts?” I asked.

“Because it does!” he exclaimed.

“Now that’s not answering the question. What does it feel like?” I asked

“It’s throbbing and when I move it: it stings” he said.

“Do you know what pain is for?” I asked.

“No” He replied. By now he’s calm because I’m calm.

“It’s to tell us that something is damaged or broken.” I said picking up a stick. “Imagine this is a walking stick” I said snapping it over my knee.


“What would that “crack!” tell you?” I asked

“That it’s broken” He replied precociously.

“Yes! It would also tell you to examine the stick and start you on the path to figuring out how to fix it.”

“Do you know what you should do with pain?” I asked.

“No” He replied

“Watch it” I said.

He looked down with his eyes.

“Not with the eyes you see with; with your attention. Pay attention to the pain. Don’t try to avoid it because that doesn’t make it go away. Find out what it is telling you.” I said.

“Now let’s find out if you have to go to the hospital. Remember pay attention to the feeling in your foot as I do what I’m about to do” I said.

“Is it going to hurt?” He asked.

“Probably; but hopefully only a little.” I said as I gently at first and then more vigorously – but not too vigorously – began to move his foot with my hands.

“How much does it hurt?” I asked.

“A bit when it’s still. Only a little bit more when you move it.” My son replied.

“Then you’re OK. I’ll carry you home. You might limp for a day or two but you’ll be jumping off swings in no time.” I said, “Remember pain is your friend because it tells you when your body is damaged. From the information pain gives you can figure out whether or not you have to do anything to fix it. In this case I prescribe a couple of days resting your foot, playing on your computer and plenty of ice-cream.”

My son beamed at me and said “Cheers Dad!”


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