This post is going to be a bit personal.
As anyone who knows me (or has read my posts on anxiety) will know I suffer from social anxiety.
For a long time I used mindfulness to combat it. Mindfulness worked great. But as anyone who has read my “back again” (https://christopherjack101.wordpress.com/back-again/) page will know it became harder and harder for me to maintain.
One of the problems with mindfulness is that it is basically a method to cause thoughts to cease. This is not brilliant for creativity.
I gave up mindfulness because I am lazy. The practice of mindfulness I did was 2 x 20 minute sessions of meditation, running everyday and playing the mindfulness game (https://christopherjack101.wordpress.com/2014/04/14/mindfulness/) the rest of the time.
This practice did work. Let it not be said that mindfulness doesn’t work; it does and it does so brilliantly.
Another problem with mindfulness is that it is about letting go. I just couldn’t let go of the desire for companionship, intimacy and sex. So whenever I went on a date the old problems were there; I’d become a stuttering mess who could barely string a simple sentence together.
So having stopped mindfulness for a while now I have turned to another – admittedly inferior – means of dealing with my anxiety. I have been taking anti-anxiety meds.
They have worked really well. Not only have they got rid of the anxiety but they have dis-inhibited me. Now I can talk to anyone in any situation and experience no embarrassment or awkwardness (two names given to anxiety in the context of talking to people).
Not only that but they have turned off the internal police-man (you know that voice or feeling in your head that intimates strongly that whatever you have to say is shit and whatever you have to write is not good enough). Thus the reintroduction of the daily habit (or almost daily) of writing in my blog.