On the self

I believe that there is a deep truth in the bible but I do not believe it is any different to the deep truth in scriptures such as the Bhagavad Gita. In fact I think the Bhagavad Gita is far superior to the bible because it makes the deeper truth more explicit.

I believe that god is the self. By this I do not mean the ego which is really a fake self. You see we believe that we are our thoughts. This is quite clearly not true. Our thoughts are in a constant state of flux, arising and vanishing. They are no different to flight of birds across the sky. As the birds they appear at one horizon, swiftly fly across to the other horizon and vanish.

There is an unconditionality to consciousness. The true self welcome all without any favoritism. It doesn’t specify any conditions that must be met. Poo is as equally welcomed as strawberries. This unconditionality is our deepest nature. We accept all things into our awareness. In fact things come into our awareness before we avert our gaze. Aversion and desire are secondary they appear as a consequence of phenomena. Before I can avert my nose from a piece of poo I must first have a piece of poo in my awareness. Before I can bring a rose closer to smell I must first have a rose in my awareness. Before the feeling, the thought, the internal mental movement of desire and aversion can even arise there must be an object to excite it.

I don’t know why I am averse to what I am averse or why I desire what I desire. There was never a time when I chose to desire or dislike something. In fact if I had been given the choice I would have chosen to desire everything and dislike nothing. That would be the best state of affairs from a dualistic perspective. Now I believe it is best to neither desire nor dislike because they are both things that are added onto experience after the fact and become lenses through which we observe our immediate experience only vaguely.

I can see a woman and believe her to be attractive. I can feel in her presence all the physiological phenomena of arousal. She in a very real sense glitters to me. By glitter I do not mean actual glitter. I mean she looks beautiful to me. But someone else looking at the same woman could well consider her to be ugly. In both our experience the woman has not changed. She looks exactly the same to both of us. She is not thin in my perception and fat in his. Yet there is something in my experience of her that is not in his and something in his experience of her that is not in mine. This “something” is added on by us both to her.

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